Sex
Babies and small children can get in the way of an easy sex life. You’re often tired and stressed, and there aren't many opportunities for intimacy. You and your partner may be happy with the situation, but if your sex life becomes a problem, some changes will be needed. Lack of sex or unhappy sex can cause a lot of frustration and worry, and put a strain on a relationship.

Immediately after the baby is born, many women feel sore as well as tired. They may be worried about the state of their body or about getting pregnant again. Men can have problems too. Apart from tiredness, a father’s sexual feelings will probably be much the same as before his baby’s birth. But many men worry about what’s right for their partner, are unsure what to do and feel worried and frustrated.There are actually no rules about when to start having sex again after you've given birth. Just don’t rush into it. If sex hurts, it won’t be pleasurable.

The following suggestions may help:

• If penetration hurts, say so. It’s not pleasant to have sex if it causes you pain. If you pretend everything's all right when it isn’t, you may start to see sex as a nuisance or unpleasant rather than a pleasure, which won’t help either of you. You can still give each other pleasure without penetration (for example, by mutual masturbation).
• Be careful the first few times you have sex. Explore with your own fingers first to reassure yourself that it won’t hurt. Use plenty of extra lubrication, such as lubricating jelly (which you can buy at the chemist). Hormonal changes after childbirth may mean that you won't be as lubricated as usual can make your vagina feel drier than usual
• Make time to relax together. There’s little point trying to make love when your minds are on other things and not on each other.It might be some time before you want to have sex. Until then, both of you may feel happier being loving and close in other ways. If you or your partner have any worries, talk about them.
• Take your time. If you’re still experiencing pain two months or so after the birth, talk to your dcotor or family planning clinic. You can get treatment for a painful episiotomy scar. Ask to see an obstetric physiotherapist.

Contraception
You can get pregnant even if you haven't started your periods again or you're breastfeeding, so use contraception as soon as you start having sex again. Your doctor should talk to you about contraception before you leave hospital, and again when you have your six-week postnatal check. Or you could talk to your health visitor when they visit you at home. It can be helpful to find out about all 15 methods of contraception.

Guide to contraception
Contraceptive methods allow you to choose when and if you want to have a baby, but they don’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Condoms help to protect against STIs and pregnancy, so whatever other method of contraception you're using to prevent pregnancy, use condoms as well to protect your and your partner’s health.

Where to get it
Contraceptive services are free and confidential, including to people under 16 as long as they are mature enough to understand the information and decisions involved. There are strict guidelines to for care professionals who work with people under 16.

You can get contraception free from:

• most pharmacies, hospitals or you could even ask your doctors
• community contraceptive clinics,
• health clinics (they offer contraceptive and STI testing services)

Before you make an appointment with your doctor or clinic, make sure you’re as informed as possible about the contraceptive options available. People’s choice of contraception may vary over time, depending on their lifestyle and circumstances.

Contraception and menopause
Women who have sex with men and don't want to get pregnant need to keep on using contraception until they haven't had a period for more than 12 months (menopause). This is because periods can become irregular before they stop entirely, and pregnancy can still occur during this time. Find out more about menopause.

Short acting methods
Short-acting contraceptive methods have to be taken every day or each time you have sex. These methods include:

Condoms: This may be the easiest choice for the early weeks after childbirth. Condoms offer the best protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you think you or your partner may have been exposed to an STI, use a condom in addition to your other choice of contraception.

Combined pill: If you're not breastfeeding, you can start taking this pill 21 days after you give birth. If you start it later than the 21st day, it won’t be reliable for the first seven days. During this time, you'll have to use another contraceptive (such as a condom) as well. Don’t take this pill if you’re breastfeeding because it reduces the flow of milk.

Progestogen-only pill: If you’re breastfeeding, you can take a progestogen-only pill, which won't affect your milk supply. This can also be started 21 days after you give birth. It has to be taken at the same time every day. If you start it later than the 21st day, it won’t be reliable for two days. During this time you’ll have to use another form of contraception (such as a condom) as well. There’s no evidence that this pill affects the baby. Even so, some women prefer not to take it while they're breastfeeding, and to use another form of contraception instead.

Cap or diaphragm: These can be used six weeks after you give birth. If you've had a cap before, it probably won't be the right size any more, so you'll need to have a new one fitted at your postnatal check.

Long acting methods
Long-active reversible contraceptive methods (known as LARC) last between three months and 10 years. They may be suitable if you think you'll forget to take or use a short-acting method. LARC include:

IUD (intra-uterine device) or IUS (intra-uterine system): An IUD or IUS is a small plastic or copper device placed in the womb (uterus), and can be fitted from the fourth week after giving birth. It's effective immediately, and can be fitted at your postnatal check when the womb is back to its normal size. The IUS and the IUD will not affect your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.

Contraceptive injection: You'll usually be advised to wait six weeks after the birth before having a contraceptive injection, although under some circumstances it can be given sooner. The contraceptive injection will not affect your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.

Contraceptive implant: This is fitted under the skin of your arm, and contains a long-lasting progestogen (a type of hormone). It's effective for three years, and can be fitted 21 days after you give birth, or earlier in some circumstances. If the contraceptive implant is fitted after 21 days, you’ll have to use another contraceptive for seven days. The implant will not affect your milk supply if you are breastfeeding.

Find out what to consider when you're deciding which contraceptive method is right for you.